How To Celebrate Father’s Day When You Don’t Have A Father

To all the dad’s out there — happy Father’s Day. I didn’t have a father growing up, he was gone by the time I was nine. Some months after his departure, my mother fell ill to cancer, and battled that insidious disease for the majority of my formative years. Growing up in that environment certainly had its moments of weighted obfuscation and introspection.

I didn’t learn to drive until I was in my twenties, serving in the army at the time. I Didn’t know the difference between a Phillips and a Flat head, no concept of how to change a tire, fix a broken something, or any of the other nuances that come with “manhood,” and fatherhood.

I wouldn’t learn those crafts until I was as I said, in my twenties, serving in the big green machine of Canada’s military. It was there however, that other men, men who were father’s as well, began showing me without meaning to what it meant to be a father; they demonstrated kindness, compassion and patience, sincerity, and guidance. I watched them interact with their children and I remember being stricken with a sense of “ah-ha!” This is what a father should REALLY look like.

They didn’t hit their kids when they couldn’t pronounce a word correctly, or shame them after spilling a glass of milk, they took time to teach their children, share their knowledge and working concept of the world with them. It was a sight to behold for me.

It’s something I’ve held and carried with me for years now; these images and teachings of father’s, REAL father’s. So, today is YOUR day, and I wish you the very best of it.

Happy Father’s Day.

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I’m Matthew

Welcome to the official blog of Matthew Heneghan — author of A Medic’s Mind and Woven in War, and host of the trauma-focused podcast Unwritten Chapters.

As a former Canadian Armed Forces medic and civilian paramedic, I’ve lived through the raw edges of trauma, addiction, grief, and healing. Through honest storytelling and lived experience, I write and speak about PTSD, trauma recovery, mental health awareness, and resilience — especially from the lens of veterans and first responders.

If you’re searching for real-life stories of overcoming adversity, the effects of service-related trauma, or insight into the recovery process after hitting rock bottom — you’re in the right place. My goal is to foster connection through shared experience, break stigma, and offer hope.

Explore the blog, tune into the podcast, and discover how writing became a lifeline — and might just become yours, too.

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